EXIT, STAGE LEFT

Vivian, Columbus, Ohio

 

One day while waiting tables, I walked back to the kitchen to check on food.  I noticed that a female guest had followed me into the kitchen.

Vivian: “Can I help you?”

Guest: “Do you have a back door?”

Vivian: “No, why do you ask?”

Guest: “I am on a terrible date and I need to ditch him”

Vivian: “Sorry, the best I can do is to offer you a shot of something to get you through the date”

The guest looks over and sees a door that leads to our sister restaurant.

Guest: “Where does that door lead to?”

Vivian: “Next door to our sister restaurant”

Guest: “I’ll take the shot, charge it to his bill and I’m going to leave through the restaurant next door”

She took the shot and left through the side door and I had the unenviable task of telling her date.

Good Things Come in Small Packages

Cyril, Columbus, OH

I’ve spent so many years in so many places and so many bars. The one experience that stands out to me is when I was working in L.A. at a makeshift bar situated under a staircase. The space was so tight it could barely fit one person and there were two of us bartending. We had to share an ice bin and only had one rail. We were constantly reaching and squeezing around one another. One wouldn’t think so but it turned out to be the best bartending experience I have ever had. We had to figure out how to reach around and anticipate each other’s move and work together. Before we knew it, we were working in sync. It was a valuable lesson.

 

Hell Hath No Fury....

Christina, Tampa, FL

One night while tending bar in Washington D.C., a married couple came in. They seemed happy enough and ordered drinks. As the husband was talking, I noticed that the wife’s face had turned dark. One of the waiters had overheard the husband admit to cheating on his wife. With the wife brooding and the husband cowering, I kept my distance at the other end of the bar. After a while, they called me over to place their order. Me: “what can I get you?” Wife: “I’ll have the filet and your most expensive bottle of champagne”. Me: “and for you, sir?” Wife interrupts: “oh, he’ll have the pork because he’s a f’ing pig!”

 

The Heisman Trophy, Riding Shotgun

From Todd, Columbus, Ohio

While working at a high-end restaurant several years ago, there was a party in one of our private dining areas for vendors and other folks. One of the really cool things about the party was that the Heisman Trophy awarded for the 1974–75 season to Archie Griffin was there and you could get your picture taken with it.

The next day when I reported to work, my boss gave me a piece of paper with an address on it and said, “I need you to make a delivery to this address”. I map-quested the address and went back to my boss and he said, “you’ll be delivering this package”. The package was a large suitcase with a plaque that said 1974–75 Archie Griffin. I couldn’t believe it, I was going to deliver the Heisman Trophy to two-time Heisman Trophy winner Archie Griffin himself! I took the suitcase and buckled it in the front seat. I immediately called my brother and said, “you won’t believe what I have in my car right now”.

I arrived at the residence and rang the bell. The door opened and there, in front of me was Archie Griffin. I said, “Archie Griffin, I would like to present to you the 1974-75 Heisman Trophy… again.” Archie invited me in and we sat at his kitchen table and drank a cup of coffee.

I don’t think there are very many people who can say they’ve had the Heisman Trophy riding shot gun in their car.